How do you say Thanksgiving in Russian?

I've been exiled to FIF's southern command headquarters in Atlanta, where I spent my first ever Thanksgiving away from my parents. I had dinner with my in-laws (my mother- and father-in-law, plus my brother-in-law and his wife, and the two cutest nieces in the world) and we had a fabulous time. That said, I still missed out on a few family traditions:

1. Quasi-relative Carol. To trace exactly how she fits into the family tree would take a few moments. But, she comes to all of our functions, and why not.
2. Watching the half-time show of the Dallas football game (hell, watching football, even though I don't really like football), where they do the annual kick off to the NFL's charity drive with my brother. We sit and laugh at the number of cliches present (NFL players serving food, playing around with kids, children in native costumes on stage, the Cowboy cheerleaders trying to pretend that they're interested... I watched it here, but it's not the same without my brother. This year they had Carrie Underwood singing something or other. Add another time that she appears on Fox is a subtle cross promotion for American Idol.
3. Ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. Instead, I got baklava. I'm at a house with a bunch of Russians on an American holiday and I ate Greek pastry.
4. My grandmother's cranberry mold. The most amazing food on the planet.

But on the happy side, I got to learn a few Russian words. It helps that my niece is one-year-old and my Russian vocabulary is that of a one-year-old. We get along famously. My in-laws are wonderful and my wife is always fun. Plus, I got to see my now 3-day-old niece. I can't imagine ever being that responsible for anything.

While I'm here...


On to the news:

Turkeys try to make a run for it in New Jersey
(Seriously)

Somebody apparently thought Snakes on a Plane was real
(I'm tired of these... oh never mind)

Parents tell little lies to their children!
(This is dedicated to my mother who told me that the turkey was actually chicken. Thanks mom.)


And finally:

It was suggested that we go see a movie tonight. It probably won't happen tonight, but I recommended that we go see Borat. This means that I'm going to go see Borat with a bunch of Russians. Someone call the irony police.