Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Bad Halloween pun goes here

It's Halloween. A friend of mine from college once said, "It's the one night when men dress up like women and women dress up in as little as possible, and that's OK for the night." The fun of Halloween is that for one night out of the year, it's not silly to walk around dressed up like a squirt bottle of mustard.

This week's theme:
My top five music videos of all time

Number 4 -- R.E.M., "Daysleeper"

A very under-appreciated song. A video that never got its due.

Baseball bits:

Well now, we've now congratulated the Cardinals and watched people file for free agency. Let the off-season maneuvers begin! And have they! The fun part will be on November 12, when signings can actually take place.

The Orioles say Alfonso Soriano wants 7 years and $119 million, or basically what Carlos Beltran got. Aramis Ramirez is now a free agent after politely excusing himself from having to play under Lou Pinella. Jason Schmidt is trying to pretend that he won't stay on the West Coast. The Mets want him, or some other pitcher to come to them, even if it means re-signing Tom Glavine.

Kris Benson, who is going to have a breakout season any year now, is thinking of asking Baltimore for a trade somewhere else. He has the right to do so after being traded in the middle of a multi-year deal.

The White Sox exercised options on Mark Burl... Buer...Buehrle, Jermaine Dye, and Tadahito Iguchi. The Red Sox are bringing back Tim Wakefield, because knuckleballers can last forever. Mike Cameron (aka, the guy that got traded for Ken Griffey, Jr.) will be back in San Diego.

And in our daily check on how things are doing in Gotham, Brian Cashman apparently has already lined up a trade for Gary Sheffield. Apparently, my beloved Indians are interested. Also, the Yankees appear interested in Jeff Suppan, who had a few good games in the playoffs, which is worth overpaying by about $3 million a year.

Barry Bonds' agent is in a state of denial.

Quote of the day: "Playing for the Mets appeals to Adam Kennedy. Kennedy, one of the elite options among free-agent second basemen this winter, has spent the last seven seasons with the Angels... Another second base option could be Rich Aurilia..." That's hilarious.

On to the news:

Woman loses election in coin flip... to a dead woman
(I'm puzzled by the last line, "[The school district] has not yet decided how to fill Dunton's seat")

Dude, like war is a total bummer, man, like totally

Takeru Kobayashi, I just don't understand you
(He's apparently branching out from hot dogs)

Bright, shiny objects:

Police said the suspect was... wait a minute
(Someone clearly didn't think that all the way through)

Some fantastic personal ads
(Now in a book!)

Today's random "next blog":

A simple blog
(Today's post reviews automatic wallpaper changers... I kid you not.)

Today's strange anniversary:

October 31, 1992 -- Roman Catholic church reinstates Galileo Galilei after 359 years. Oops, sorry about that whole declaring you a heretic thing...

Fun fact of the day:

Camel's milk does not curdle.

And now a word from our sponsors:

Tainted Love... sorta...
(Classic Levi's commercial)

And finally:

My wife and I went out for pizza last night. On the menu was an option called "tropical treat pizza" containing cheese, Canadian bacon, and pineapple. (Yeah, I know Canadian bacon = ham) When was the last time you saw "tropical" and "Canadian" in the same sentence?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Iacta alea est

Today, I sent out all my applications for internship. Now does that ever feel nice. Four months worth of work and $36.45 in postage. Not to mention about $40 in copies. Now, I sit and wait until Thanksgiving (or later?) to see whether I get any interviews. But, for now, a huge weight is off my shoulders.

Now, I have 35 papers to grade in my intro class. It never ends. Eventually though, people will have to call me "Doctor." Even my wife. That'll make it all worth it.

This week's theme:
My top five music videos of all time

If you read my MTV video music award preview (and live blog entry), you might have noted that I am a scholar of the music video. Lacking any other really good ideas for a good theme, I decided to try this out. My top five (apologies to John Cusack in High Fidelity) videos of all time, one each day, based entirely on my subjective criteria and how I'm feeling now.

Number 5 -- Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy"

Yeah, the song's getting to be over-played, but it's still got one hell of a beat and the idea for a video is simply amazing. Deservingly won best direction at the VMAs, and should have been video of the year. Maybe recent videos should have a two year waiting period to get on all-time lists, sorta like the Hall of Fame has a five year waiting period, but...

Baseball bits:

Oh yeah, the Cardinals won the World Series last Friday (not that anyone watched...), to the groans of millions. Yeah, a team that won 83 games during the regular season won the Series. I think Bud Selig got it right. (Mark the date, I actually agree with something that Allan H. "Bud" Selig said... for more click here)

"In football or college basketball when this happens, people say, 'Isn't that great?' But when it happens in baseball, people criticize it. When the Yankees win every year, people hate the predictability. This is the unpredictability. Well, you cannot have it both ways. And quite frankly, I prefer the unpredictability. That's what makes this game the best sport in the world. There are just so many things you can't predict."

Pretty much.

More rumors: It's free agent season, and a bunch of players are starting to file, now that the World Series is over. Alfonoso Soriano and Carlos Lee are out there and they'll be linked with every team in the league. So are a few pitchers, including Barry Zito. When everyone files, I'll do a run-down on all of them. This is also the time of the year when GMs lie and say that all they need is one little piece. Truth is that the free-agent market is pretty thin. Even Luis Gonzalez is getting some callers. So is Dave Roberts...

Most of the rumors that come out this time of year are made up by sports reporters and fans of wishful thinking.

The Padres are talking to Jose Oquendo of the Cardinals as a manager candidate

On to the news:

Court orders witch doctor to repay man for love spell
(Personally, I don't know how someone that dumb managed to file a lawsuit)

Oklahoma just discovered tatooing
(It's OK, Japan just discovered Halloween)

Come to the U2charist
(Great, like Bono needs another God-complex)

Bright, shiny objects:

My kind of store
(I always look at Engrish.com on Mondays)

Funny jack-o-lanterns
('Tis the season, after all...)

Today's random "next blog":

Of Games and Tech
(A blog about computers and games... which is difficult to read with the white on black set up)

Today's strange anniversary:

October 30, 1864 -- Helena, Montana's capital, founded. You didn't remember what the capital of Montana was. You don't care now that you know. Nothing interesting has happened there since.

Fun fact of the day:

The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular.

The Monday playlist feature:

I couldn't think of any personally relevant anniversaries that happened around this particular week. However, it is election season. I swear I'm not going to get into politics on this blog, primarily because no one really cares what I think politically. Today, we honor the fact that in 1992 a little billionaire with pointy ears and a pointy stick almost got elected to the Presidency of the United States. Ain't America great? I still haven't seen Man of the Year, although I heard it was a "seen-the-trailer-seen-the-movie" sort of film. Anyway, the 1992 election also gave us the most befuddling political character in American history: Bill Clinton. America spent 8 years in a Presidency that will be remembered for eleven words.

Anyway, here's what we were listening to in 1992.

5) Snap -- Rhythm is a Dancer

4) Boyz II Men -- End of the Road

3) The Heights -- How Do You Talk To An Angel

2) P.M. Dawn -- Die Without You

1) Madonna -- Erotica

To this day, I don't understand Madonna. Never have. I don't even remember the song. The rest of them on the other hand have a certain cheese appeal to them. The Heights, Snap, and P.M. Dawn were never heard from again, although I really enjoyed those songs (yeah, I know...) Boys II Men were actually new and exciting back then. Are they still alive?

And finally:

Happy birthday (a day late) to friend Steve. He's now 27, which makes me feel really really old.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Fried Coke?

My wife and I had a philosophical discussion about soup last night. It was butternut squash soup that my mother-in-law sent us. I've never eaten soup out of a box, but it was... not horrible. Not really enjoyable, mind you. But, I didn't die. What exactly does one call that state?

I love my wife.

(I know, it didn't make sense)

This week's theme:
Songs you won't be able to get out of your head:

You either click it or you don't. But you've been warned.

Today's song that you won't be able to get out of your head
(You never realized how addictive this one was, did you...)

Baseball bits:

So, they played baseball last night in St. Louis, and my did they play. The joy of baseball is that it keeps you on edge for so long, and then does it again the next night. Tonight (or tomorrow, depending on the weather), America might just watch the Cardinals capture their first World Series since 1982, and on their own home field. This hasn't happened since 2002 when the Angels and that awful Rally Monkey beat the Giants.

But, then again, you already know what happened last night.

As always, a reminder that everything is just fine in Gotham. Gary Sheffield will complain about making a guaranteed $13 million next year. And Mariano Rivera says that A-Rod shouldn't be traded. (Wink, wink.)

The Giants hired Bruce Bochy away from the Padres. This means that the Padres are now looking at the same goup of possible managers that the Giants were. When Joe Torre finally goes after another disappointing season in which the Yankees only win 92 games and get to the playoffs, it looks like Don Mattingly will replace him.

Tom Glavine is deciding between the Mets and the Braves. One more time, could we get Maddux/Glavine/Smoltz back together in Atlanta? Hey, it worked before... The Rockies are looking for a center fielder. Chris Burke has been mentioned as a target.

And apparently, in the 1980's, some of the Pittsburgh Pirates were getting cocaine from the mascot. True story.

On to the news:

Only in America
(From the land where we take nice healthy salads and top them with fried chicken)

Another "fire station catches fire" story
(Ironic, but all too common...)

Politicians eggs on collegaues by wearing chicken suit to council meeting
(Ends up with egg on his face. At least he didn't chicken out.)

Bright, shiny objects:

You'll only get this if you watch Family Guy
(But if you do, you'll understand...)

From the people who brought you the live-action Super Mario Brothers
(Comes Street Fighter... live...)

Today's random "next blog":

Curiosities and Contemplations of Family and Life
(Blogging about family, poetically)

Today's strange anniversary:

October 27, 1941 -- Chicago Daily Tribune editorialize there will not be war with Japan. These are the same folks who told us about Dewey defeating Truman. Now, what paper will I pick up on my way home? (By the way, these are also the people who own the Cubs... this is all starting to make sense now, isn't it?)

Fun fact of the day:

Most Americans' car horns beep in the key of F.

And finally:

It's time for our weekly check of Is It Friday dot net.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Thus sayeth K-Fed

A reading from the Holy Book of Federline:

At that time, K-Fed went up upon a mountain and a crowd gathered around him and he began to teach:
Sayeth K-Fed: "[I am] the most talked-about [person] of anyone over the last couple of years.”

The crowd marveled at his wisdom, forgetting that perhaps actual world leaders and Snoop Dogg might have been talked about more. A woman in the crowd asked "O Great One! Who is the most underrated artist in your field."
Sayeth K-Fed, after a twelve second pause: "Me."

And the crowd was astonished. They weren't sure what the Chosen One's "field" was, nor how someone could under-rate someone with zero talent, but they went with it. "Tell us a parable!" they demanded.
Sayeth K-Fed, "[I am] no longer embarrassed to buy feminine-hygiene products for [my] wife. I used to be embarrassed to go to the store and buy tampons, but that’s all past tense,” Federline told EW. “Once you make it through that, then you’re good.”

The crowd puzzled over what this meant. Then, another, who called himself the Pizza Cutter, explained it to them. Not since that fateful day when the pot called the kettle black has such a fantastic irony taken place. A douchebag is out buying douchebags.

This week's theme:
Songs you won't be able to get out of your head

Will you?

Today's song that you just won't be able to get enough of
(And another, if you please)

Baseball bits:

Game 4 was rained out last night. Game 4 will probably be rained out tonight. Game 4 will probably be rained out tomorrow night. In other words, the World Series will last into November. But, it means that Leyland and LaRussa can reset their rotations, if they like. Kenny Rogers might find some time to wash his hands.

It's time for our daily reminder that everything is fine with A-Rod in New York and that he's not going to be traded this off-season (Wink, wink).

Gary Sheffield is not pleased with the proposed sign-and-trade move that Brian Cashman is making. Perhaps he might take comfort in the fact that this could very easily become a regular feature of baseball, and it might called the Sheffield maneuver. Or not.

The Mets are agonizing over whether they'll trade Lastings Milledge, an if so, to whom. It's like losing your virginity. You can only do it once, and you want it to be with the right person. This is the same dance they went through with Alex Escobar. Cleveland fans, that one didn't turn out so well, did it?

In case you weren't looking, Ryan Howard and Derek Jeter won the Hank Aaron Award, which is kind of a Viewers' Choice Award for the best hitter in each league.

Daisuke Matsuzaka is coming to America. Slowly and expensively. Guess who's already in the mix to get him?

Rumor: The Indians are interested in Moises Alou as a veteran power bat. He's still .900 OPS guy. Not bad for 40 years old.

"Managerial candidate that no one has mentioned before" of the day: Jamie Quirk. Holds the major league record for home runs by a player witha surname starting with Q. Quirk also has a special place in Cleveland Indians lore. He played in one game for the Tribe on September 27, 1984, after being sold to the Indians a few days earlier. He came on as a defensive replacement and then hit a game winning home run. He was subsequently released and signed with the Royals, where he won a World Series ring.

On to the news:

Why people take drivers' tests
(And why some people shouldn't drive)

This is apparently the 25th anniversary of "The Wave"
(The one you do at a sporting event when the game gets boring)

This is why people should actually believe fishing stories
(Mental image, anyone?)

Grandmother hires grandson to commit arson
(When you need to commit a crime, keep it in the family)

Bright, shiny objects:

Don't swallow the batteries

Conflicting proverbs
(Never thought about this, did you?)

Today's random "next blog":

Chrisitna's Blog
(A sweet one today. She's getting married and even her blog is glowing.)

Today's strange anniversary:

For you Clevelanders out there, since I'm already on a Cleveland kick in this post:

October 26, 1974: Richfield Collesium opens.

Fun fact of the day:

The "Calabash" pipe, most often associated with Sherlock Holmes, was not used by him until William Gillette (an American) portrayed Holmes onstage. Gillette needed a pipe he could keep in his mouth while he spoke his lines.

And finally:

Today on my way to work, I noticed a poster for the upcoming 25th annual Reeling Film Festival, a Chicago International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. Presented by Ontario, Canada. Did Chicago get annexed and no one told me about it?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Major cuteness warning

On the count of three: Awwwwwwwwww. That's my niece.

This week's theme:
Songs you won't be able to get out of your head

Hehe... you have to click it or not, but there's no turning back. There's a fine line between brave and stupid. Are you willing to cross it?

Today's song that you won't be able to get out of your head.
(I was going to drop a hint in here, but click on the link and write it yourself)

Baseball bits:

Something I did on a lark is now a regular feature of the column. Then again, I used to do "And now a word from our sponsors" everyday...

How about that Chris Carpenter? I want to know if he's related to The Carpenters from the 1970s. Much was made of his drop in wins from 21 to 15, as if that actually meant that he was a bad pitcher. This means two things: regression to the mean still works and you still have to a be really good pitcher to win 15 games. This is why people should read Baseball Between the Numbers. If that baseball blog ever gets started, I'll have to contribute a few Sabermetric posts.

In other news: The Yankees are looking to pick up Gary Sheffield's $13 mil option and trade him somewhere. He'll fetch something on the open market. Also out of Gotham, it's our daily reminder that A-Rod's not going anywhere (wink, wink) Mike Timlin re-signs in Boston. And in managerial news, the Pizza Cutter's favorite manager, Bobby Valentine has been mentioned as a candidate for the Giants' job. Not only did he pull off the Groucho Marx disguise after being ejected incident, he also claims that he invented the wrap sandwhich. Multi-talented. He'd manage my team.

Rumors: Big names in their free agent year next year, Andruw Jones and Ichiro Suzuki. What will happen with them? The rumblings are already starting. Alfonso Soriano with the Mets? Jim Edmonds out of St. Louis? Craig Counsell to the Tigers?

Carlos Delgado is apparently playing games with the Mets. He's threatening to ask for a trade (which he has a contractual right to do) so that the Mets will guarantee his option for 2009.

And finally, quietly and thankfully, the players union and MLB reached a new five year agreement. Apparently they figured out that with a few billion dollars floating around the game each year, they ought to be able to come to some sort of agreement.

On to the news:

London is looking for a few good vampires
(All you goth kids reading this, here you go)

Another "naked burglar" story
(It's sad... so many people decide to go out and steal things while naked that the story is passe. What does that say about our species?)

Bright, shiny objects:

Funny game show answers
(Mostly from Family Feud)

(From the dark side of the video game console)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

JD's thoughts
(World traveller, blogger, geocoacher?)

Today's strange anniversary:

October 25, 1939 -- William Saroyan's "Time of Your Life," premieres in NYC . This isn't really strange. It's just a really good play that my wife and I saw last year. The other option was the Bolshevik Revolution in 1917. The problem is that the Russians don't celebrate the October Revolution until November.

Fun fact of the day:

The largest toy distributor in the world is McDonald’s.

And now a word from our sponsors:

Well, I did mention it.

Ikea encourages you to get organized.
(If not for you, for the others.)

And finally:

My wife stopped by my office hours today. I think I've mentioned I teach a couple classes at DePaul University. She's the only one allowed to sleep with the professor.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Pranking C-SPAN

It's time for our Tuesday look around the world to see what's going on.

1) Desperate politicians are running stupid attack ads with no taste a few weeks before the election.
2) Activists call for legalization of a small leafy plant that is also unfortunately used as a drug.
3) College is still really expensive. Yet, it's not like America's colleges are getting less crowded.
4) Kazakhstan is still pissed off about Borat. But at least they finally got a sense of humor about it.
5) Shaquille O'Neal is a cop.

Yeah, in other words, nothing new is going on today.

This week's theme:
Songs you won't be able to get out of your head.

Again, the rules are simple. I won't tell you what it is. It's a fun little song, but you'll be singing it all day. Just like Howie Mandell. Deal or no deal?

Speaking of, how did Bob Saget (the originator of the theme of the week, btw) get a gig on that 1 vs. 100 show. How do I get on this show?

Today's song your mind just won't hush about
(And another by the same artist...)

Baseball bits:

There's that whole World Series thing. Mildly interesting. Chris Carpenter faces off against the winner of a Rivers Cuomo look-a-like contest tonight. Seriously, take a look at Nate Robertson.

In other news: The Phillies (when you think about it, what a stupid name for a team... Phillies...) have signed 44-year-old Jamie Moyer to a two year contract. Worth five million a year. Moyer's so old that he actually made his major league debut against Steve Carlton. Joe Girardi will not be the next manager of the Washington Nationals. Girardi wants to keep his family together, and apparently, he can't do that in D.C. Alan Trammell gets a job as the Cubs bench coach. Willie Randolph has no regrets after being dumped from the playoffs.

More rumors: The White Sox want A-Rod (who's not available and won't be traded...wink, wink). The Giants will pick their manager from Bruce Bochy, Bud Black, Ron Wotus, Manny Acta, and Kevin Federline. Bud Black is also interviewing with the A's. OK, it's clear who needs a manager. There are four teams who need one (Giants, A's, Rangers, Nats) and he same four names get thrown out there every day. Just pick one!

The Astros want Craig Biggio back. The Cubs want Aramis Ramirez back. The Reds and Rich Aurillia are deciding whether or not to break up.

On to the news:

Firefighting chief charged with arson
(Sadly, this one happens a lot. So much so that Chuck Shepherd won't do this story any more.)

Russia opens vodka museum
(What, we have a museum for cars...)

Bank robbers have a bad day
(Don't you hate when this happens?)

Toddler gets stuck in vending machine

Man gets out of jail, commits 8 robberies
(Gets arrested the next day)

Bright, shiny objects:

Governments fund the strangest things
(Thanks to my wife for the link)

Prank calls... to C-SPAN
(Why would someone prank C-SPAN? By the way, are you at work right now?)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

Shell Gal, a new doctor
(in Malaysia)

Today's Strange Anniversary:

October 24, 1857 -- World's 1st soccer club, Sheffield F C, founded in England. This makes me wonder: whom did they play.

Fun fact of the day:

The origin of the phrase "tit for tat"

And finally:

Last night, my wife came back from Atlanta with new pictures of our niece. Absolutely adorable. If I can, I'll get the pictures up sometime soon.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Carry on my wayward son

There's an entire state of the Union that no one seems to know about. It's called Kansas. I was there this past weekend for a conference and... for my first time west of the Mississippi River, it was a little underwhelming. I flew into Kansas City airport, which was the most depressing excuse for an airport I've ever seen. I drove to the University of Kansas in the middle of the day. There was no one on the roads. These were interstate highways. Oh well, at least it had clean air, darkness at night, and quiet. I miss those in Chicago.

When I got there, I was told that no, Kansas is not all flat (the university is on a hill) and that they've gotten rather sick of all the Wizard of Oz jokes. However, they seem to have something against actually labelling their streets. My Mapquest directions were just fine. It was attempting to find where US-59 was that was the problem. I stayed at the Holiday Inn... right next to a store called "Topless Liquor." I'm not making this up.

The Kansas mascot is the Jayhawk. I asked what the hell that meant. No one knew. I asked why it looked like a Dodo bird with fetal alcohol syndrome. No one knew that either.

But, in the bookstore in the student union, I found a book on the art of Federic Edwin Church. I am happy.

This week's theme:
Songs you won't be able to get out of your head.

This week's theme is basically meant to drive you nuts. I'll put a link to a song on YouTube or something like that, and you have to listen to it. Don't worry... it's a song you'll be thinking about all day. But you can't cheat. You either have to click on the link or not.

I'm going to pick sneaky ones. Not Tom's Diner or the YMCA song. You'll love them. You'll hate me.

Today's song you won't be able to get out of your head
(Here's a better song by the same artist.)

Baseball Bits:

While I was in Kansas, my friend Omar called me and said that he was interested in baseball blogging with me. I think we may start it for real. Not sure on what the format will be. Stay tuned.

Has there been any more of a yo-yo story in Major League Baseball than Kenny Rogers? Here's a guy who's been a marginally good pitcher through the years, had a funny nickname, "The Gambler," and then out of nowhere (or Arlington, Texas), tosses a perfect game. After that, he wanders around baseball (Rangers, Yankees, A's, Mets, Rangers, Twins, Rangers, and now the Tigers). He becomes a villain by attacking a camera man, then signs with Detroit to be the "ace" of a bad team. He ends up starting the All-Star game and then making a fantastic post-season run.

And he might be a cheater. What do we make of this guy?

Not a whole lot of news. San Francisco and Montr... uh, Washington are still looking for a manager. Apparently, they both want Manny Acta. Another former Indians manager is on the hot seat. Mike Hargrove may also be out next season in Seattle. Speaking of, Daisuke Matsuzaka wants to go to the Mariners, who apparently will just build an entire team out of Japanese players. Dusty Baker might work TV, and former Tigers manager Alan Trammell has several options. Speaking of Trammell, how much must it suck to be him. He manages through the rough times, gets fired, and then the Tigers go to the World Series. The Mets are looking for pitching (isn't everyone?). Possibilities include Barry Zito or Jason Schmidt. Jeff Suppan will be a free agent and pitched a few good games in the playoffs. This means he's due to be overpaid by at least $5 mil per year. The Marlins are looking for a young cheap CF (Willy Taveres, Chris Duffy, etc.)

On to the news:

British children can't find UK on map
(They sound more like Americans all the time)

Australians forbidden from singing in the shower
(But, would we have gotten Kylie Minogue otherwise?)

Blind and deaf man gets speeding ticket
(And sure plays a mean pinball)

Alabama, boobs, and politics
(That right there is enough to get you to click, isn't it?)

Bright, shiny objects:

A guide to Halloween costumes.
(Please follow these rules... please?)

Elevator is going in the wrong direction
(This one will take a minute to fully appreciate)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

Captain Oats
(I think it's someone's band.)

The Monday playlist feature:

October 26, 1997. The saddest day of my life.

5) Paula Cole -- I Don't Wanna Wait

4) Boyz II Men -- 4 Seasons of Loneliness

3) LeAnn Rimes -- How Do I Live

2) Sugar Ray -- Fly

1) Jewel -- Foolish Games

Actually, at the time, I was hooked on listening to this song and this song, both from the album King by Belly.

The entirety of the 1997 playoffs was a fun ride. The night of the 26th, I was sick with a terrible cold and probably should have gone to bed early. But, this was Game 7. Then, it looked like the Indians would win by midnight. They didn't. They haven't been back to the World Series since.

Today's Random Anniversary:

October 23, 1814 -- The first plastic surgery is performed in England. We just happen to have a picture of the first recipient. (I know, cheap shot...)

Fun Fact of the Day:

If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long.

And finally:

On my way back to the airport from Lawrence, I listened in on the KU football game. Ouch. Well, Rock Chalk, Jayhawk! Whatever that means.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Blogging from Oz

Another convention, another crappy internet connection at a hotel. But, I'm watching the Mets-Cards game. 1-1 in the 9th right now...

Now that's fantastic. I don't really have a rooting interest, but I'm sweating...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Klingons on the starboard bow

Ah, celebrity news...

1) A random star (Madonna) followed the latest celebrity trend. In this case, adopting a child from Africa. It's the new fashion accessory.
2) Kevin Federline is coming this close to being the first combination winner of the Shatner Award and the... well, the Federline Award. But, then again, I'd pay money to see this too.

Baseball bits:
Since that's pretty much replaced this week's theme

Lou Pinella on whether the Cubs would draw more walks during his tenure as manager: "'My philosophy is to get eight midgets up there that walk all the time.'' Thanks Lou. We need a baseball quotes of the week feature. In other Cubs news, Mark Prior apparently can't stay healthy. This was apparently surprising enough to be considered news.

Latest on the saga of A-Rod whom the Yankees swear they don't want to trade and everyone else in baseball denies a serious interest in actually trading for: A search of Google News for "Alex Rodriguez" and Cubs produced more than 100 different hits within the last 24 hours. This sounds like the crush that no one will admit to. However, the rumblings out of Boston say that Manny Ramirez might go. Yet again.

More rumors: Carlos Lee to the Astros, Mark Mulder back to the A's, Kaz Matsui remaining with the Rockies.

TBS will televise one of the two League Championship Series next year. Former pitcher Bud Black will get an interview for the Giants managerial spot. Black is currently the Angels pitching coach, and once teamed with catcher Steve Decker in San Francisco to form a Black and Decker battery. Apparently, somebody named Manny Acta is also a managerial candidate. Who is Manny Acta?

And oh yeah, the Cardinals are one win away from the World Series with Chris Carpenter going tonight. Tigers-Cards? Brings up memories of Bob Gibson or the Gashouse Gang era.

On to the news:

Tag banned from playgrounds, because "accidents can happen."
(We know, that's why there are kids on the playground the first place.)

Kazakhstan spells "bank" wrong on its money.
(Someone call Borat)

Ever had a real ass follow you around who just wouldn't take no for an answer?
(My wife is not allowed to comment on this one)

A prayer to say when you're drunk
(Its this week's alcohol and God were both involved story?)

Indians fan until I die... and then some
(We buried my uncle in a bass fishing coffin...)

Grandparents dealing heroin
(They're starting older and older.)

Bright, shiny objects:

Fantastic time lapse of the Northern Lights
(Bright and shiny, indeed!)

Star Trekkin', the claymation musical video about Star Trek
(OK... slowly... look... away... they... can... smell... fear...)

Today's random "next blog":

The Book Fix Blog
(A Kansas City librarian does book reviews)

Today in history:

October 18, 1922 -- British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) forms. They immediately begin sending radio program ideas over to the U.S.

Fun fact of the day:

President Nixon was a huge sports fan; he would often visit the Washington Redskins’ practice facility and talk football to his good friend, Redskins coach George Allen. President Nixon even called in a play during a Redskins game. (It was an 11-man blitz!)

And finally:

Not sure if I'll be able to blog for the next few days. I'll be in Kansas perhaps without internet access. My wife and are at the point in our marriage where we take separate vacations. She's going to Atlanta this weekend to be with our niece... and oh yeah, the rest of her family.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

But it's in the Bible!

About a month ago, I inaugurated the Shatner Award, given the person who makes great sacrifices to in the field of personal dignity for the least amount of money. The award, named after the greatest practitioner of such things, William Shatner, is today awarded for thefirst time.

Mike Tyson, congratulations. You have won the inaugural Shatner Award for making a mockery of yourself.

A Where's Waldo Checklist for a fallen icon:

1) He made his kick-off announcement at an Italian restaurant in Strongsville, Ohio. Nothing against Strongsville, but it really isn't anything other than a little suburb of Cleveland. I've been there.
2) He says it's for charity... despite the fact that most of the money will go to help him pay his debts.
3) Is there a precedent for a once-proud athlete turning himself into a walking side show?
4) "Yeah, sure I'd fight women."

This week's theme:
The MLB playoffs

Well.... they got rained out last night in St. Louis. Other than the fact that now Glavine and Weaver are going on full rest, is there really anything else to say?

Baseball bits:

Lou Pinella was officially introduced as the Cubs manager. As someone who lives half a mile from Wrigley, in two years, people will be wondering what the hell they were thinking. Pinella had a press conference in which he said that the team would go into spring training ready to win. Easy things to say before you actually have to do anything. Ken Macha was dropped by the A's. Apparently going to the ALCS isn't a good year. Meanwhile, the Rangers, Giants, and Nats are all still looking. For some reason, the name of Oakland A's third base coach Ron Washington seems to be consistently thrown around. The Phillies hired former managers Davy Lopes (late of the Brewers), Art Howe (late of the Astros, A's, and Mets), and Jimy Williams (late of... a lot of places) and then swore it had nothing to do with setting up replacements for Charlie Manuel.

The Cubs want Alfonso Soriano to come play center field and hit leadoff, which he will do better than Juan Pierre by default. So do the Phillies, who also want to trade Pat Burrell. The Yankees are trying to decide whether they should pay 38-year-old Gary Sheffield $13 million next year, or let him go to the Red Sox.

On to the news:

Man breaks into jail
(Bonus: Alcohol was involved!)

Personal ad from a 105-year-old man
(Make your own joke. I am)

Chinese business students required to take golfing lessons
(Good idea?)

Bright, shiny objects:

My wife sent me this
(I have no idea what it is... but it's funny)

My wife sent me this too
(Ah, irreverant t-shirts... for babies)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

Killer Camel
(I have no idea what this is, but it's in English!)

Today's Strange Anniversary:

October 17, 1967 -- "Hair" premieres on Broadway. Which, I suppose, was the dawning of the age of Aquarius.

Fun fact of the day:

In a 1631 edition of the King James Bible, in Exodus 20 verse 14, the word "not" was left out. This changed the 7th commandment to read, "Thou shalt commit adultery." Most of the copies were recalled immediately and destroyed on the orders of Charles I. But there are 11 copies still remaining. They are known as the "Wicked Bible." (The Bible museum in Branson, Missouri has one on display.) The printer was fined the equivelant of $400.

And finally:

Oh yeah, over the weekend my wife and I had a rematch in Trivial Pursuit. Booyakasha! Who da man?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Wanna do a baseball blog with me?

Things that happened this weekend.

My wife: I think I'm finally beginning to understand this baseball stuff. And I kinda like it.
Me: Will you marry me?

This was said over really really bad Mexican food. But then again, when I actually asked her to marry me, we went to a really really bad Mexican restaurant afterwards. So, we have a history.

This week's theme:
The MLB playoffs

The Detroit Tigers are sitting back and resting after Magglio Ordonez did this. An interesting thought. Over the past five World Series, there has been at least one participant who was a wild card coming in (2006 Tigers, 2005 Astros, 2004 Red Sox, 2003 Marlins, 2002 Angels). So, purists, still not convinced?

In the other LCS, the Mets and Cardinals are El Duquing it out for the right to be humiliated in the World Series by the Tigers. If you want post-season drama, may I recommend you watch the final three games of the NLCS. If the Mets win, they'll be starting Glavine, Maine, Perez, and Darren Oliver. Sounds like a winner to me. The Cardinals will look into starting Chris Carpenter in all seven games.

I'm considering keeping the baseball portion of the blog even into the off-season. Doing something like this:

Daily Baseball Bits:

News out of Wrigley that the Cubs, long thought to be ready to hand their managerial opening to Joe Girardi will instead go with Lou Pinella (?) This is the story of two managers who were given teams teams in the state of Florida that weren't very good. One managed them so well he kept them in the playoff run until the end. The other one managed the Devil Rays for three years and found creative ways to be thrown out of games. The Cubs have figured out that if they win the World Series one year, their entire marketing plan is down the tubes. Maybe that's it. In other managerial news, Ken Macha is going to be fired again, perhaps to return again, and be re-fired. Girardi is now tilting toward the Washington Nationals/Senators/Expos. Or not, depending on whom you believe.

Barry Zito looks like he'll leave Oakland, which means, just like anyone else who's ever been any good with the A's. Don't worry, Bill Beane will find a 31-year-old rookie from Argentina who will take over nicely. As to Zito, let the bidding begin. Despite the fact that it would be foolish to trade A-Rod and the Yankees have said they won't, this will be the running subplot of this off-season. The N.Y. Daily News says that the White Sox and Angels are interested. Just to keep things entertaining, a columnist in Philly says Pat Burrell for A-Rod straight up (Apparently there's something in the water in Pennsylvania... they also want Scott Rolen back). The Yankees need pitching, although they've already had some success with trading for Phillies outfielders. Also, an odd question: Who wants a guy who will break Hank Aaron's home run record next year?

Other tidbits: Milton Bradley is looking for a long-term deal and talking about God. George Steinbrenner is making a shopping list. My beloved Indians are interested in Brian... uh, I mean Marcus Giles to play second base next year. In a ringing endorsement, Indians GM Mark Shapiro said of Giles , "The market for second basemen isn't good enough for us to overlook anyone." Steve Trachsel looks set to leave the Mets after six seasons. Six? Adam Dunn may leave Cincy, because they are "Minnesota-izing," whatever that means. Colorado wants to sign Jason Jennings to a deal. (This article uses the term "Colorado's ace" Does anyone else understand why that's funny?)

And finally, everyone in Major League Baseball is trying to learn how to pronounce Daisuke Matsuzaka.

I've tossed around the idea of having a daily baseball blog like this, but I don't know that I have the time. My ideal baseball blog would be a team effort. One of those blogs where several people contribute. Someone can do a daily wrap up. Someone can do Sabermetrics. Someone can write little featurettes (quotes of the week?). Someone can do fantasy angles. Someone can live blog games. Actually, it could look sorta like this, just not about English soccer. Wanna?

On to the news:

Dental tourism
(You know what I need on my next vacaction? A root canal!)

Chocolate igloo
(Eating an eskimo out of house and home)

Dogs dressing up for Halloween
(As what?)

Remember that I'm my own grandfather song?
(Alternatively, have you ever been to West Virginia?)

Bright, shiny objects:

Kermit gets an x-ray
(Now that's good stuff)

The Disney After Dark video
(This apparently got people fired. C'mon, it's not like we haven't all thought it.)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

The first one I came to was rhinoplasty-pictures.blogspot.com. I'm serious.

College student wanders around Europe for two weeks
(Sounds like fun.)

The Monday Playlist feature:

Mid-October in my life is always connected to playoff baseball. On October 16, 2004, I remember walking into a Blockbuster Video (back when they carried videos) with my wife (back when she was my fiance) and watching in horror as the Yankees did this to the Red Sox to take a 3-0 lead in the ALCS. What happened next was sheer magic. It doesn't matter if you are a Red Sox fan (and I'm not.) It was the most fantastic series of baseball games I've ever seen. At the time, I was busy working on my graduate classes, but I sure was watching.

Here's what America was listening to back then.

5) Destiny's Child -- Lose My Breath

4) Kelly Clarkson -- Breakaway
(She shall not be linked)

3) Maroon 5 -- She Will Be Loved

2) Ciara -- Goodies

1) Avril Lavigne -- My Happy Ending

Today's Random Anniversary:

October 16, 1995 -- Million Man March held in Washington, DC. Over 800,000 black men attend the beginning of the "Million ____ March" fad that's still going on.

Fun fact of the day:

When a coffee seed is planted, it takes five years to yield it's first consumable fruit.

And now a word from our sponsors:

This isn't my usual funny commercial.
(But, it's very true)

And finally:

I'm going to Kansas this week! From Thursday to Saturday, I'll be in the land of Oz. This, oddly enough, marks my first time West of the Mississippi River. And my first time renting a car. I'll be here. Will you?

Saturday, October 14, 2006


Hail to the green and gold
Hail our alma mater
Praise her with voices bold
With hearts that never falter
Hail to dear St. Edward High
Keep her banners waving
Loyal sons in unity
Everlasting praise we sing.

St. Edward 21, St. Ignatius 13.

I don't much care for football. I graduated eight years ago. I'm too old to be this juvenile. It still feels good.

If you're an Edsman, may I recommend this link.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the 13th

It's been a rough week and it seems only fitting to end it with a Friday the 13th. I managed to uncork a gem today after teaching my classes. I teach statistics and intro to psychology at DePaul, and my classroom is right across the hall from the department office. One of the administrative folks over in the office heard me when I shouted during my lecture and said that it sounded like I had a good class. I told her that in my stats class, I had taught z-tests, while in my intro class I had taught about much less interesting things, like food and sex. The administrator said, "Wait a minute, you think that a survey is more important than sex." I said, "Well yeah, sex only lasts a few minutes, but a survey will be around forever!"

Her response: "Not unless you have a Polaroid."

This month's theme:
MLB Playoffs!

Here's how old Tom Glavine is. A few weeks ago, I bought a bunch of old baseball sticker albums from the 1980s. He's in them. I hope I'm doing that well when I'm in my 40s. Now, if the Mets could only pitch him in all seven games...

The Tigers look like they're purring. Oakland finally won a playoff series just to have this happen, eh?

On to the news:

And now, Tara Reid shows why celebrities have no sense of perspective
(Here's also to the people who report it as news.)

A wedding dress made out of cream puffs
(Yeah, more things we should have thought of at our wedding)

Assault with a deadly weapon
(A bad haircut)

Bright, shiny objects:

You have to admit, he had it coming
(A little graphic, not for the faint of heart... you've been warned)

Teletubbies... raving
(Uh... not graphic, but sure is disturbing...)

And finally:

Time to start a new tradition. Our weekly check of "Is It Friday" dot net.

Today was apparently "Diddy Day" in Chicago. Yeah, him...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

We won't be warm for another five months

Let's see if I can do this proper today. It snowed for the first time this season in Chicago. I believe that it is now officially OK to embarassedly put out the Christmas knick-knacks in stores. Not in your home mind you. This is something that is strictly reserved for Thanksgiving Friday. But, the snow has come and my wife said, "You know, I just realized we won't be warm for another 5 months or so."

This month's theme:
The MLB playoffs

The Tigers (?) are up 2-0 on the A's, going back home for three. The Detroit Tigers may be going to the World Series. On the NL side, they can't get a game off. Watch, the Tigers will be finishing a sweep before the NLCS gets underway.

On to the news:

Canadian troops fight marijuana plants
(No word on who won.)

Doggie ice cream
(As in ice-cream for dogs.)

Birthday cards now illegal in England

Disney World after dark
(And you thought the Screech sex tape was odd)

Bright, shiny objects:

Some entertaining sports bloopers
(Done NES style)

Slang in the 20s!
(Are you drugstore cowboy?)

Today's random next blog:

Classic Death and Speed/Thrash Metal
(The Blog. Yeah, first one in English.)

Today's random anniversary:

October 12, 1960 -- Nikita Khrushchev pounds his shoe at UN General Assembly session. Silly Russians.

Fun Fact of the day:

The infinity sign is called a lemniscate.

And Finally:

Today is the 10th anniversary of one of the best events of my high school career. On October 12, 1996, my high school played our archrival high school and won 12-9. A game that featured future NFLers Rodney Bailey and DeJuan Groce for my school and LeCharles Bentley for that other school. (If you're from Cleveland, you know exactly why I won't say their name.) The teams meet again this weekend. That night, my school, which never won this game, managed to pull this one out, largely due to the fact that it was raining and cold that night. In fact, I think our quarterback had about two completions that night, but we scored because the other team's punter tried to punt from his end zone and kicked directly into the wind and on the next play, one of those two completions went for a TD. That night, they tape delayed the radio broadcast of the game. I still have those tapes somewhere. After I listen to them, I can still remember running onto the field celebrating. We finally beat our arch-rival. The next year (my senior year) we lost 34-6.

I suppose since I didn't do a Monday playlist, I should do a link to what America was listening to at the time, but I did a 1996 one a few weeks ago, and it was all the same music (Donna Lewis, Primitive Radio Gods, Keith Sweat) along with Cousin Celine Dion and No Mercy.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Monday, October 09, 2006

Scaling back the blog

It's midterm week and a crunch week at my other job at the same time, so the blog will have to be a little smaller this week. If you're a loyal blog reader, thanks. You'll have to look for your own bright, shiny objects this week.

On to the news:

But the car told me to!
(The triumph of technology over common sense)

Weirder than the hot dog thing
(And apparently, accountants are hot)

Reasons why dropping out might not be such a bad idea
(Fire up another round of Halo 2)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

A moment of silence please

P. Luther Wyclef.

November 11, 1994 - October 8, 2006.

Perhaps the most fitting epitaph I can write is this:
"Hey, I love this stuff, Mr. Jake."

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Satan has been vanquished

Detroit 8, New York 3

There's a German word for enjoying the misfortunes of others, and for the life of me, I can't remember what it is. The only thing that could have made it better was if A-Rod himself was the one to make the last (strike) out.

During Game 3, the Tigers public address folks pulled off an unbelieveable stunt that I think most people missed. After the Tigers scored a few runs and the Yankees players looked disspirited, they played the "Deeeeeeeeeoooooo" chant over the stadium. I nearly defecated in my pants. My wife didn't get it. Reader, if you have to ask the question as to why that's funny, you would not understand the answer.

But, the best moment was this one, following the final out of Game 4.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Headwipes for Bald Guys

I suppose former Presidents have to do something with their time. Jimmy Carter does Habitat for Humanity. Bill Clinton has apparently been negotiating to get junk food out of schools. Yeah... that Bill Clinton. But then again, I suppose anyone who went through this might think the same way. As always, say what you will about the man's politics and/or administration, he's right on this one. We've got too many obese kids in America. As a child psychologist, I know.

This week's theme:
MLB Playoffs

Hehehe. I love Kenny Rogers. Additionally, this is why everyone needs to read Baseball Between the Numbers. Going into the game, all ESPN talked about was the Yankees' hitters' previous numbers against Rogers and predicted a slaughter. Based on the fact that some of the Yankees were 5-for-8 against Rogers in the past. Ah, fools who don't understand sample size... Satan shall yet be vanquished.

And Oakland finally finished off a series.

On to the news:

I should call this guy
(Lawyers and aliens, always a disaster waiting to happen.)


Man wrecks his SUV, but wins another one
(Now, that's convenient!)

Bright, shiny objects:

Please date this man
(Someone, please?)

Since it's Friday, re-live half an hour of your childhood
(Smoke up while you do it... here's parts two, three, and four)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

Yeah, I do this
(Nerd pride!)

Today's Random Anniversary:

October 6, 1955 -- LSD made illegal in US. Thanks to Winnie the Pooh and Michaelangelo the Ninja Turtle, we never have to worry about kids doing it ever again.

Fun Fact of the Day:

Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."

And finally:

Another trip to Walgreens, another sign of the apocalypse. In the hair care aisle was a line of products called "Head Wipes for Bald Guyz." Want to know more? My wife was laughing for five minutes.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Shut up Tim McCarver

Chad fans, big news. Chad Part 4 will premiere on Good Morning, America on October 11. What a statement on America. Nobody's Watching gets picked up to run on TV. Now this. Anyone wanna invest in YouTube?

This week's theme:
It's October...

If I saw right yesterday, the Dodgers managed to make two outs at home plate... within about 2 seconds of each other. (I need video of this.) Quote of the day (now that would be a good new section for the blog) goes to Sports Center. "One run won't score! Two runs won't score!"

The Mets are without Pedro and El Duckie, and Brad Penny looked like a minor league hack yesterday. The thing about playoff baseball is that it can turn into "Ummmm, who here can still pitch?" The desperation factor is fun to watch, but it makes for some bad baseball. A little historical proof. The Mets are seriously talking about running guys out like Steve Trachsel (this guy is baseball's version of the nuclear cockroach... he just... won't... die...) and Oliver Perez as starters. The Dodgers will counter with some kid I've never heard of.

In linking to Trachsel, I found this gem. A site dedicated to shutting up Tim McCarver. I should write a "lighter side of baseball" blog.

Oakland's finally gonna win a playoff series. After all, they're up 2-0, Just like 2001 and 2003, and they've been up on Minnesota before too. They'll be fine.

The Tigers got rained out.

On to the news:

College student with dynamite on plane says it was a 'souvenir'
(This man has a college education...)

Man still has to pay alimony to his ex-wife, even though she had a sex change
(Is s/he still his ex-wife?)

Ledd Zeppelinn banned in Alberta
(Yes, I spelled that right.)

Bright, shiny objects:

Dead Celebrity soul-mate matching
(This wouldn't be so creepy if it wasn't from A&E)

The true story of the "Yo Quiero Taco Bell" dog

Today's Random "Next Blog":

Off to Timbuktu
(A man apparently travelling/living in Ghana)

Today's Weird Anniversary:

October 5, 1924 -- Present constitution of Liechtenstein comes into effect. So, there's probably a giant party going on tonight, right? Well, at least a little one.

Fun Fact of the day:

Tennessee is bordered by more states than any other. The eight states are Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and Virginia.

And finally:

Late update. Yankees lose! Theeeeeee Yankees lose! Satan has been vanquished!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

So, a horse walks into a bar

Yes, I watched Gilmore Girls last night. Rory found out that Lorelai... oh nevermind.

Ummm, so yeah. This is a really boring blog entry because most of the last 24 hours have been spent grading statistics homework. Tonight, I'll change it up and grade intro psych midterms. Yeah, I live a thrilling life right now.

This week's theme:
The Major League Baseball Playoffs

I'm writing early today, so right now, the Twins are playing the A's in the early game. There is apparently a grown man who has the legal name of Boof. Boof? Dodgers-Mets this afternoon and Tigers-Yankees tonight.

On to the news:

Imagine working this investigation...
(I'm sorry ma'am, but this is police business.)

Vodka pipeline?
(Russians. Who else?)

So, a horse walks into a bar...
(Oh my gawd, you a horse?)

Bright, shiny objects:

Maybe you want to keep that to yourself.
(I'll take you to the t-shirt shop...)

Yeah, that could work
(Use your clean mind...)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

Listening notes. A man reviews a bunch of classical vinyl records.
(The first blog that came up in English)

Today's Strange Anniversary:

October 4, 1824 -- Mexico becomes a republic. Sorta.

Fun Fact of the Day:

Des Moines has the highest per capita Jello consumption in the U.S.

And finally:

An unchangeable rule of television: Law and Order is always on at least one channel. And, somehow, you've never seen that one.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I'm bringing spinach back (Yeah?)

Time for a look around the world to see how things are going.

1) There's a sex scandal in Washington. And everyone is reacting as though this has never happened before.
2) North Korea has said that they will conduct a nuclear test, despite the fact that they are "committed to nuclear disarmament" The U.S. has responded by saying that they view this as "bad, very bad."
3) There will soon be an album out of Nirvana songs... as lullabies.
4) And, God help us all, Paris Hilton has managed to out-do herself.

This week's theme:
MLB Baseball Playoffs

As I'm writing this, the A's have already beaten the Twins. Apparently, Frank Thomas is still alive. Who knew? The Cardinals beat the Padres in a game that no one watched because it was at 4:00 pm Eastern. You didn't miss much. Then, Satan beat the Tigers.

Satan cheers for the Yankees. Proof.

Every year, I dread the thought that the Yankees may actually win the World Series... again. I exempt anyone who was born within the New York broadcast market from this next statement: If you cheer for the Yankees, it's because you worship Satan too.

On to the news:

Prince William plays bingo
(Don't you love the British... this is news!)

Clown runs for mayor in California
(Before you laugh, just remember this...)

Woman on trial for drunk driving...
(Can you finish the sentence?)

Bright, shiny objects:

Speaking of K-Fed
(See, I told you...)

This should probably be the "Random Next Blog" but I'm cutting it short today.
(I'm a grad student...)

And finally:

From the "Things My Wife Says" Department.

My wife's friend: So, when do we get spinach back?
My wife: I think that's Justin Timberlake's next project.

I love my wife.

Monday, October 02, 2006

The playoffs are here!

Today, I defended my dissertation proposal. Ah, such a nice feeling. Go me. I still have to finish my internship applications, but this is so nice. Now, in theory, I can be a graduate student forever!

Sadly, I had a really funny story to tell today from one of my classes and I can't tell it here. This is the problem with blogging when you have a job involving confidentiality. Half of my life can't be broadcast.

This week's theme:
The playoffs are here!

Ah, the major league baseball playoffs. The most fun month of the year. Since the Indians aren't in it this year, it means that I have to "adopt" a team to root for. A few selection criteria.

1) The team may not be from New York
2) Or be called the Yankees
3) Or be owned by George Steinbrenner
4) Or be from California
5) Or be in the AL Central

So, my two rooting interests are now the Oakland A's (yes, I know... #4, but they're the A's!!! I love Billy Beane and sabermetrics. Read Moneyball and you'll understand why) and the St. Louis Cardinals. In other words, the two teams that always get their hearts broken.

On to the news:

As someone who teaches college classes, this would explain a few things
(Perhaps I might try this...)

(Performance artist has to be the best job in the world. You do something that makes no sense. You say something obscure. People hail you as a genius.)

This may also explain a few things...
(For example, the last 40 years of U.S. political history)

Britney Spears has nothing to worry about
(Not that she did... of course...)

Bright, shiny objects:

Tom Cruise kills Oprah
(No comment)

How do you say "huh?" in Japanese?
(Daniel-san, Banzai!)

Today's Random "Next Blog":

A picture a day for 2006.
(Someone posting a picture each day of the year. Neat idea. All I need is a digicam.)

The Monday Playlist feature:

This week in 1995, this happened. While it was happening, here's what we were listening to.

5) Sophie B. Hawkins -- As I Lay Me Down

4) Coolio -- Gangsta's Paradise

3) Janet Jackson -- Runaway

2) Alanis Morrisette -- You Oughta Know

1) Mariah Carey -- Fantasy

Today's weird anniversary:

October 2, 1895 -- The first comic strip is printed in a newspaper. Immediately, it becomes the most read piece of the newspaper.

Fun fact of the day:

Parthenogenesis is the term used to describe the process by which certain animals are able to reproduce themselves in successive female generations without intervention of a male of the species. At least one species of lizard is known to do so.

Perhaps a similar process can be found in humans for... nevermind...

And finally:

September ended. Why didn't anybody wake me up?