Friday, July 07, 2006

Running of the Fools

I'm still waiting for the parody. SNL. The Da Vinci Code (or, as I like to call it, The Gnostic Heresey). Jesus having a press conference. Slamming his fist on the podium. "I did not... have... sexual... relations... with that woman..." It still hasn't happened. And I want to know why. (Update: nevermind)

So, the World Cup final is this coming Sunday. I'm coming out of the closet here. I love soccer. It's horribly un-American of me (I'll make up for it by blogging the All-Star Game next Tuesday), but I love it. I started out rooting for the U.S., more out of a sense of duty than anything. They were immediately eliminated. My favorite team in Europe is PSV Eindhoven in the Dutch Eredivise (don't ask), so I cheered for Holland. They got to the second round, and got knocked out. I also follow the English League, because they all speak English. They got knocked out. My brother has been cheering for France all along (I assume), as he just got back from 6 months in Paris for study abroad. They play Italy in the Finals. Since everyone I cheer for seems to get knocked out, for his sake, Forza Italia! Apparently, I'm not alone in cheering for the Azzuri.

If I posted this, would anyone get why it was funny?

Today also marks the beginning of the Running of the Bulls festival in Pamplona, Spain. Every year, a bunch of tourists come to town and voluntarily run... in front of bulls. Not only that, they specifically piss the bulls off so that they'll charge at them. Are we that far gone as a species that this no longer seems to bother anyone that people do this? If you have a friend who has done this, or considered doing it, or even watches the news and goes, "Yeah, that looks interesting," your job, as a thinking rational human being is to smack them. If they ask what that was for, smack them again, because clearly, they aren't able to figure out when they've said or done something so assinine that they deserve slapped.

On to the news:

An absolutely brilliant weight loss program.
(This one falls into the category of "Why didn't I think of that?")

A sweet one for the weekend.
(This weekend is my wife and my first wedding anniversary. Sweetie, if you're reading this, I love you.)

Suddenly, Apple Paltrow doesn't seem all that odd.
(Does anyone else wanna make a Sixteen Candles joke after reading this one?)

And now:

(You'd forgotten all about that. I know.)


Yesterday, it turns out was G-Dubs (George W. Bush... yeah, that one) 60th birthday. I specifically said to myself when I started this blog that I would not make it anything near remotely political. I just want to know how I managed to completely miss this fact. Did anyone else not know this, or am I just an idiot.

I'll let you stew on that question until Monday, when we will resume our frolic through the Foreign Intelligence Files (FIF for short!)


Dove Knits said...

Yours was better.

twig said...

In the running of the bulls (pure idiocy if you ask me) an American was injured and paralyzed today (or yesterday by now).

Dove Knits said...

You're gonna slap me, but I JUST got the pun in the title of your post.

Now wake up. Zoo time!