Live and indirect from the world's first international, interactive ziggurat for endangered species and auto parts superstore. I am the Pizza Cutter. This is the Foreign Intelligence Files (FIF for short!) Yes, I am starting a blog. Somewhere out there, someone is getting a good giggle out of this. You know who you are.
The Foreign Intelligence Files is a collection of news stories that make me wonder whether intelligence really is a foreign concept to people. I started it on my college radio show once upon a time and have always wanted to bring it back. Now I can. The stories that you are about to read are true. I wish they weren't, because it would restore my faith in humanity, but they're true. As far as I know. In fact, I haven't even changed the names to protect the idiots.