Someone's got a case of the Mondays

So, yesterday was my wife and my wedding anniversary. We've managed to make it through the year without killing each other. Yesteday, my mother-in-law called my wife (she does this just about every day), and was completely clueless that it was our anniversary. Yeah, it was only the day their only daughter got married. No biggie.

We spent a lovely day together, and we discussed a rather important question: What is the adjectival form of "elephant"? I say that it's "elephantile." My wife simply says that it's "big." These are the discussions we have.

In the world, apparently, karma found out that I was secretly cheering for France in the World Cup and had them promptly eliminated. You've probably all seen the headbutt, which made absolutely no sense. After all, everyone knows that you don't mess around with the Mafia. Zinedine Zidane was at the end of his last game ever, capping off a storied career and did... that. For his efforts, he got the Golden Ball, which is the MVP trophy. Will someone please explain that one to me?

Lost in all the headbutting. Poor David Trezeguet. But now Americans can go back to being blissfully unaware of soccer for another four years.


On to the news:

I'm not sure if this is sweet or creepy.
(Creepy.)

This is one of those times where the headline tells the story.
(Someone call the irony police)

Biblical bobbleheads?
(Apparently there were some problems with the John the Baptist bobblehead.)


We now pause for this message from our sponsors:

Today's Foreign Intelligence Files (FIF for short!) is brought to you by a seedy looking hair care product commerical from the 80s.


A Checklist for a Bad Music Video:

1) Odd choreography
2) Bad 80s visual effects
3) Bad 80s haircuts
4) Foreigners mangling the English language (Do they even know what they're singing?)
5) A completely pointless conga line
6) Miming?
7) Miming sex?
8) Bad 80s clothes
9) People riding off in a Studebaker, despite the fact that there's no road (only a field of stars... works on Star Trek...) and no one is actually operating the car.
10) A completely pointless disco ball.

Let's play a game of Where's Waldo.


And finally:

It's said that baseball plays one game a year that everyone cares about: Its all-star game. Conversely, the NFL only plays one game all year that no one cares about: Its all-star game. I'll be live blogging the baseball All-Star game tomorrow night.