Thus sayeth Paris Hilton, part deux

I know, I know. We're leaving town tomorrow.

P-Hilt has already won her Federline Award (Popozao!) but apparently just can't... shut up...

“There's nobody in the world like me,” the partying heiress told the Times of London. “I think every decade has an iconic blonde — like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana — and right now, I'm that icon.”

She didn’t stop there. “There's a lot of heiresses out there, and I don't see any of them doing what I've done,” she continued,” she said. “I have so many projects — bags, fragrances, make-up. I go round the world every three days, designing and personally approving it all. I've got movies to make, a tour, TV shows. Every day of my life is scheduled until the end of 2007.”

So, let's see here. She's Marilyn Monroe, except that Marilyn Monroe could sorta act. And she's Princess Diana, except that Princess Diana could behave herself in public. Paris, the sad thing is that there are plenty of people in the world like you with whom, despite having no talent, we all have deal on a daily basis.

While I'm on this thing, I was in the shower today, and I noticed that my wife's body wash had something on it that said 97.06% natural. Aside from my comment that poison ivy is 100% natural (and I wouldn't rub that all over my body), the following thought occurred to me. Britney Spears can make much the same claim.