Thursday, October 26, 2006

Thus sayeth K-Fed

A reading from the Holy Book of Federline:

At that time, K-Fed went up upon a mountain and a crowd gathered around him and he began to teach:
Sayeth K-Fed: "[I am] the most talked-about [person] of anyone over the last couple of years.”

The crowd marveled at his wisdom, forgetting that perhaps actual world leaders and Snoop Dogg might have been talked about more. A woman in the crowd asked "O Great One! Who is the most underrated artist in your field."
Sayeth K-Fed, after a twelve second pause: "Me."

And the crowd was astonished. They weren't sure what the Chosen One's "field" was, nor how someone could under-rate someone with zero talent, but they went with it. "Tell us a parable!" they demanded.
Sayeth K-Fed, "[I am] no longer embarrassed to buy feminine-hygiene products for [my] wife. I used to be embarrassed to go to the store and buy tampons, but that’s all past tense,” Federline told EW. “Once you make it through that, then you’re good.”

The crowd puzzled over what this meant. Then, another, who called himself the Pizza Cutter, explained it to them. Not since that fateful day when the pot called the kettle black has such a fantastic irony taken place. A douchebag is out buying douchebags.

This week's theme:
Songs you won't be able to get out of your head

Will you?

Today's song that you just won't be able to get enough of
(And another, if you please)

Baseball bits:

Game 4 was rained out last night. Game 4 will probably be rained out tonight. Game 4 will probably be rained out tomorrow night. In other words, the World Series will last into November. But, it means that Leyland and LaRussa can reset their rotations, if they like. Kenny Rogers might find some time to wash his hands.

It's time for our daily reminder that everything is fine with A-Rod in New York and that he's not going to be traded this off-season (Wink, wink).

Gary Sheffield is not pleased with the proposed sign-and-trade move that Brian Cashman is making. Perhaps he might take comfort in the fact that this could very easily become a regular feature of baseball, and it might called the Sheffield maneuver. Or not.

The Mets are agonizing over whether they'll trade Lastings Milledge, an if so, to whom. It's like losing your virginity. You can only do it once, and you want it to be with the right person. This is the same dance they went through with Alex Escobar. Cleveland fans, that one didn't turn out so well, did it?

In case you weren't looking, Ryan Howard and Derek Jeter won the Hank Aaron Award, which is kind of a Viewers' Choice Award for the best hitter in each league.

Daisuke Matsuzaka is coming to America. Slowly and expensively. Guess who's already in the mix to get him?

Rumor: The Indians are interested in Moises Alou as a veteran power bat. He's still .900 OPS guy. Not bad for 40 years old.

"Managerial candidate that no one has mentioned before" of the day: Jamie Quirk. Holds the major league record for home runs by a player witha surname starting with Q. Quirk also has a special place in Cleveland Indians lore. He played in one game for the Tribe on September 27, 1984, after being sold to the Indians a few days earlier. He came on as a defensive replacement and then hit a game winning home run. He was subsequently released and signed with the Royals, where he won a World Series ring.

On to the news:

Why people take drivers' tests
(And why some people shouldn't drive)

This is apparently the 25th anniversary of "The Wave"
(The one you do at a sporting event when the game gets boring)

This is why people should actually believe fishing stories
(Mental image, anyone?)

Grandmother hires grandson to commit arson
(When you need to commit a crime, keep it in the family)

Bright, shiny objects:

Don't swallow the batteries

Conflicting proverbs
(Never thought about this, did you?)

Today's random "next blog":

Chrisitna's Blog
(A sweet one today. She's getting married and even her blog is glowing.)

Today's strange anniversary:

For you Clevelanders out there, since I'm already on a Cleveland kick in this post:

October 26, 1974: Richfield Collesium opens.

Fun fact of the day:

The "Calabash" pipe, most often associated with Sherlock Holmes, was not used by him until William Gillette (an American) portrayed Holmes onstage. Gillette needed a pipe he could keep in his mouth while he spoke his lines.

And finally:

Today on my way to work, I noticed a poster for the upcoming 25th annual Reeling Film Festival, a Chicago International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. Presented by Ontario, Canada. Did Chicago get annexed and no one told me about it?

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