Popeye found dead on the side of the road

I'm trying to decide if it's a bad sign that when I heard the news that "lonelygirl15" isn't real, my first reaction was "Who's lonelygirl15"? Now I know what Jews feels like when they hear that Santa isn't real. (Sorry, kids.)

Today's big news story is the fact that if you eat spinach out of a bag, you will die. Perhaps we need to re-examine ourselves as a country if we are eating our spinach out of a bag. But then again, we now know that a company in the evil "C state" is to blame. (It's the one on the west coast. It's not Colorado or Connecticut or Kentucky.)


This week's theme:
The Breakfast Club

The psychological thriller that you never knew it was
(Or something like that)


On to the news:

This is art.
(Can't be any worse than this. But then, this is an inside joke.)

Sex, Drugs, and Opera.
(I suppose it makes The Magic Flue make more sense)

Headline: Man needed surgery after sex with hedgehog
(Jaw on floor...)

Jesus is on MySpace
(So am I, what's your point?)


Bright, shiny objects:

Here's to Bo Jackson, the best video game athlete of all time
(Tecmo Super Bowl... ah, the memories)

From the makers of iPod, iBreathalyzer
(Tagline: Paris Hilton should have had this in her purse. Popozao!)


Today's weird anniversary:

September 15, 1835 -- Charles Darwin and the HMS Beagle reach the Galapagos Islands. Apparently, something controversial came of that.


Today's Fun Fact:

There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.


And finally:

Does that answer your question?
(Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club)