Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The First Federline Award of 2007

It's time for our Tuesday look around the world to see what's happening!

1) Britney Spears and Paris Hilton still don't know how to dress themselves
2) The entire state of Ohio got slapped on national TV
3) New Yorkers are making bad smell jokes about New Jersey
4) Pete Rose didn't get into the Hall of Fame... again

This week's theme:

Part III and Part IV of I Love 1990
(Roman numerals make it look cooler)

Today, we take a look at the omnipresent video of the year, Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor. And bring back an old friend: The Where's Waldo Checklist. Watch the video and be looking for the following:

  1. I'm not saying that there's a resemblance, but... well maybe I am.
  2. David?
  3. I'm not saying that there's a resemblance, but... well, it is kinda eerie.
  4. In the bridge, there's a guy walking around in a black trenchcoat in an abandoned park. Sinead O'Connor is glorifying drug dealers.
  5. The infamous tear.

On to the news:

Humans go on display at an Australian zoo?
(Bonus: They're turning it into a reality show!)

Man stages robbery to get back into jail?
(Bonus: He loved it at the last prison!)

Stamps that taste like sweet and sour pork?
(Bonus: Because it's the year of the pig!)

Bright, shiny objects:

Free tie-dye t-shirt with a negative drug test
(Who in their right mind would wear tie-dye? That's right, someone on drugs.)

Epic Movie!
(I was just telling my wife that I needed to make one of those... Someone did it for me.)

Today's random "next blog":

(The blog itself is just a bunch of family pictures, but it's also got a great inside joke in there...)

Today's strange anniversary:

January 9, 1894 -- "Edison Kinetoscopic Record of a Sneeze" released in movie theaters. Sounds like a thriller. Maybe next summer, they'll make a sequel.

Fun fact of the day:

Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.

A public service announcement:

I was going to put this in bright, shiny objects, but this deserves a section of its own. In what will surely become a recurrent theme on the blog, I present to you the future of America.

I have a two-step solution for such problems. The first step is to extend your right hand so that it is approximately six inches to the right of the person's left cheek. If you are left handed, reverse those direction. The second step is to make a sudden and violent motion to the left. Congratulations McKenzie, by your outstanding contributions to the field of stupidity (and whining) you are hereby the first civilian to win a Federline Award. Salve stulta! Popozao!

And finally:

My wife beat me again in Trivial Pursuit this past weekend. What's worse is that I had five pieces of pie and just needed the Sports and Games piece (normally my strong suit). I couldn't nail down the question (I got a question on darts that I had no idea about...) and she beat me to it! So, in the four games we've played, we're tied 2-2.

She's perfect for me.

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