Monday, August 07, 2006

Anti-stupid pill?

From Yahoo News/Reuters:
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German scientist has been testing an "anti-stupidity" pill with encouraging results on mice and fruit flies, Bild newspaper reported Saturday.

It said Hans-Hilger Ropers, director at Max-Planck-Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin, has tested a pill thwarting hyperactivity in certain brain nerve cells, helping stabilize short-term memory and improve attentiveness.

"With mice and fruit flies we were able to eliminate the loss of short-term memory," Ropers, 62, is quoted saying in the German newspaper, which has dubbed it the "world's first anti-stupidity pill."
The Germans are trying to put me out of business. On behalf of the rest of the world, I thank them.

This week's theme:
Odd renditions of the Star Spangled Banner

This man might write you a ticket
(Never quite heard it butchered this bad. Looks like we have our first prescription for the pill.)

On to the news:

You never know what you'll find in the freezer
(He didn't have time?)

An interesting idea for a bar
(Usually, this week's "alcohol was involved" story involves the customers...)

Headline: Threatening letter to police has return address on the envelope
(Yeah, that pill is gonna come in mighty handy...)

Bright, shiny objects:

Ah, the best of
(The caption is funny, yet incomprehensible as to what it was actually trying to say, and the picture is downright creepy. In other words, it's perfect.)

Today's episode of Where's Waldo
(And tonight, when you have salad with dinner, you'll hate me.)

And now a word from our sponsors:

I don't know that "creepy" is a strong enough word.
(Ronald McDonald vs. Michael Jackson... who's your vote?)

And finally:

A very special presentation. I suppose it was only a matter of time until Britney Spears won a Federline Award (considering that she's married to... Kevin Federline), but she deserves a platinum encrusted Federline Award for this one. (Warning: you are about to spend 3 minutes of your life that you will never get back, ever again.)

Here's the thing: In the video, she makes K-Fed sound like a genius! Britney Spears, for your extensive contributions to the field of stupidity, I hereby present you with a Federline Award. Salve stultissima! Popozao!

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